Dress : Topshop (gift from my girlfriends) | Hair accessory : H&M
I find myself more and more tired everyday now that the semester is ending. Sometimes I don't even feel like blogging - like now. But typing out my thoughts help me clear my mind and gives me space to think about newer things. This week has been pretty intense (why do I feel like I say that in every blog post). Both happy and sad moments happened. But that's the journey of life, right? I'm also struggling to find quiet times with God nowadays. What I hate is that I'm aware that I'm not putting effort into devotions anymore but I still don't do anything. It's really hard.. Balancing life. But I know He's here with me everyday. Even when I don't talk feel him, my faith is still strong and I trust His promise to me - that He will never forsake me.
2 Samuel 22:31
This God - his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him.
Maybe all I really need to fill this empty space is someone who will help me walk this life the way God wants me to. A buddy who will lift up my spirits and remind me that I'm still a child of God and that I'm not alone whenever I feel down. I never realized this until now. This whole time, I've been walking this christian life without a real devoted partner. It's awfully hard to do it alone. Yes, God is always sufficient and greater than my problems. But he made people to help one another and to help each other grow. I guess I'm tired doing this on my own. I miss how one of my dearest friend, Gloria, would always remind me to stay faithful to Jesus. She would always send me little letters/cards of memory verses and inspiring words. I still keep them in my journal and I read them every once in awhile. She's in Australia now and I don't get to talk to her as often. I admit.. I'm struggling to stay faithful. It's so hard. I just want to find someone to walk this journey with.
I am so blessed. I don't feel like I deserve any of these lovely things. But I am thankful, very thankful indeed. The bouquet of flowers are from M. I love flowers! I was really happy when he surprised me with them. Sigh, oh the pretty things don't last do they? But I did make pressed flowers - they are now in between the papers of my notebook. Looking as beautiful as ever. Thank you for the roses! My girlfriends got me a neon orange dress from Topshop. Coincidently I was eyeing on it the first time I saw it when it was on sale. But even with the sale on, I couldn't buy it. Sigh. But here it is! In my hands. Mine. Thank you Amanda, Juliana and Nadine! I was also surprised by the mail man with a parcel sent from Destiny - owner of Cute Granny Vintage. She sent me these lovely flower crowns. I was such a happy girl, crying tears of joy while laughing and constantly repeating "oh my god". Thank you so much Destiny! I got a vintage recipe book as well - a surprise gift from my dearest friend Serena whom is all the way in London. I love it and I can't wait to write in it! Thank you Shinz! And lastly, thank you to my high school friend MeiJing for the beauty masks! hehe. I found it pretty funny finding facial masks in the parcel - but nevertheless I think it's a great gift. My face needs moisturizing. :)
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Honestly, birthdays are pretty awkward to me. I do however, love celebrating other people's birthdays though.But whenever October comes to an end and November slowly creeps in, I can't help but cringe at the thought knowing my birthday is around the corner. Ok, so the fact that I'm a year older doesn't actually upset me as much as I tell my friend's that. I've been asking myself a lot of questions about this 'birthday' topic. I ask things like "Why do we make such a big celebration for ourselves"? and "Is one supposed to feel super excited for her/his birthday?" "Why is it that I don't?" "Does that make me abnormally strange that way?". I dwelled on these idle thoughts but couldn't really find answers to those questions. So I turned to God - feeling a little dumb for not going to him for answers at the start. When he spoke to me, all I felt was calmness and genuine happiness. He told me this… Birthday's are supposed to be celebrated, and we should be excited and happy about it. Birthdays are reminders to us that God gave us life. We were born on this day not by accident but because He has amazing plans for us in this journey called life. To even experience this earth and more importantly God's love, is the greatest gift you will ever receive. No one else can give life, except the creator of the heavens and earth. It's the best birthday present if you think about it that way. We should be thankful for every year the Lord blesses us with. We will never know when our time is up here. So yeah. Today is my birthday. And I am thankful there is breath in me.
This is Mesh. I've never posted a proper photo of what M looks like here before. So I thought I brought my camera out to play when we went cycling. I have a terrible memory so I can't really remember what I did on that day - gosh. Thank goodness for cameras and journals to capture and record everything down. What I do know is that I had a really lovely day with him!
1 John 3:1
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.