Wednesday, May 23, 2012

NAKED

This is the most naked post I've ever done. I just feel so strongly to let it out here. In my own personal space where I can just let out my inner thoughts and feelings. Apologies if you are already feeling bored. This might be the most boring post to some of you who read my blog. A post with no photos to look at; just a lot, a lot of text. Ok so here I go.. I don't know how many bloggers out there feel this, but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of them who feel this way, but never really let it out. But I think its time to write about it and just get it off my mind. So this is how I feel. As a blogger, I strive for 'perfection' in my posts. I am always trying to come up with creative ideas and photos that will 'please' the audiences eyes. I don't know who reads my blog but I do check my statistics and the numbers are growing by the day. People from around the globe and places I don't even know of, visits my blog. The thought of that is quite intimidating actually. Because I am very aware that there are quite a number of people who read my blog, I feel so obliged to make the statistics grow even more. Yes, I admit it. I am.. a people pleaser. Don't get me wrong please! Of course there are times when I just want to create creative posts because I felt inspired in one way or another. But sometimes.. even when I am tired and I have no inspiration (we are human, it happens!) I try to 'force' myself to crack something genius up. And people, that is very, very exhausting. I tend to forget that I am only human. I need my rest. My 'off days'. Sometimes I cry because it is all so overwhelming.. It feels like I'm in a race to finish first. And this race is never ending. And I'm competing with myself. How weird is that! 

So yeah. I just thought I'd share something that has been in my mind for quite a long time now. I still don't know who is reading this and who might stumble upon it. But, it doesn't matter really. I don't want to get caught up with silly blog statistics. I didn't start this blog that way! I started blogging because I wanted to share things that gave me inspiration. And Twist Chic is a personal diary that has been opened to the world. I want to share my gifts and talents that God has blessed me with. I want to share my life lessons that I go through, hopefully I get to touch someone out there who is going through the same problem. I want to inspire people who needs inspiration. I want to create beautiful things when I feel inspired, going at my own pace. I want to live how God wants to see me live this life. I want to make my God famous. And His name is Jesus. 

Taken from the song Albertine by Brooke Fraser, I am holding on to this verse:
Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead.
I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine.

27 comments:

  1. I totally feel the same way! Sometimes when I make an outfit post or something, I publish it and after a while of just looking at it over and over... I feel like it's not good enough. I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to blogging, really! And sometimes I even get insecure when I see the blogs of other well-known fashion bloggers. It's like, everything's so flawless and all and I'm just there feeling like I'm not good enough. But in the end, it just makes me try harder and make my posts even better!


    http://thedamselinadress.blogspot.com/

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    1. Its comforting to know that i'm not alone. Thanks for the encouraging words, Jeline. Yup, if you look at it that way, it definitely will make you do better :) But I guess what Im saying is that we shouldn't force ourselves to keep going especially when we don't have the energy to. Well at least that's for my case. For yours, you should always keep getting inspired by the blogs you love and create something of your own! :) Thanks again for this. You are so lovely, Jeline. x

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    2. Well just remember to keep doing what you love and stay true to yourself no matter what. No problem <3

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  2. You're staying true to yourself dear. That's why we love you so much and we really think that you'll be a good friend/sister we could have in real life and we couldn't resist but to love you more everyday! You're putting a right balance between personal and what's appropriate to be shared worldwide. And your integrity in this post couldn't make us agree more than ever (nods head). And again, we love you for that. xoxo.

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    1. Destiny, my eyes leaked after reading this. You are so lovely! And so kind. I am so grateful to have 'known' someone like you. Even though we haven't met and just got to know each other very briefly, you already amaze me by how much love you have in your heart. It's not only through this comment that I'm saying that. But thru our conversations via email, I can feel so much honesty and heart from you. Thank you for the encouraging words Destiny. Your name is pure and so true to your character. I love your name! :)

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  3. I get it, I have the same feeling sometimes (mixed with all these other blogger insecurities). But I think you're doing great :) always love visiting your blog!

    when I have that feeling, I just think: there is room to learn, and nobody is expecting me to be perfect! So just stick to being you because you seem like the sweetest person ever!

    x
    Angie
    sundaybelle.com

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    1. Thank you so much Angie! That means soo much (': thanks for the great advice.. "room to learn, no one is perfect". thanks again for being so sweet! x

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    2. yes :D and have fun while you do it! My blog is far from perfect but I really enjoy what I do, and I hope I will eventually grow better. no problem :D <3 x

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  4. Oh dear, I feel the same too. I've experienced several transitions for my blog..it is initially supposed to be just a diary of mine but later I want it more than just a diary, so I deleted all of my old posts and began to make different contents (it happened for 3 times). Yep it can be very overwhelming to explore new ideas in attempt to "attract" more readers but actually that's the joy of being creative people, eh? haha, don't worry, Sue! have a good rest and I'm looking forward for your next post! You're the most unique fashion blogger that I know, that's why I'm so thankful for finding your sweet blog.

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    1. thanks for sharing this with me, Jess. You really helped me get through this situation a whole lot better :) Thank you ever so much!

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    1. That's exactly how I feeeeel. But I'm definitely seeing it from a new perspective now :) Thanks to you girls! Thank you so much for everyhing Zaty! I hope you find your true self in your blog posts again :) x

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  6. I think it's really great that you opened up and talking about something that's important to you. It's easy to get caught up in a pressure to "perform", but at the end of the day it should be meaningful to you only. I always consider blogging to be an exercise in creativity, but you should only be trying to please yourself because you can't please others. Trying to do so results in total burn out and it's not worth it! I think your posts are great and enjoy them, but you certainly deserve time off if you need it! :)

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    1. Yup! You speak the truth! :) thanks for the encouraging words, Val! Always can count on you for good advice <3

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  7. I totally get what you mean, especially when you read a lot of other blogs that are great and have amazing photography and design. I have changed things on my blog because I thought that people wouldn't be interested in reading about them but it should be about what makes you happy, you're the one who puts all the time and effort in! It's so easy to get wrapped up in the blogging world and forget why you are really blogging and who you are blogging for!

    I love your blog and I really think you need to give yourself more credit.

    Lucy Loves To Blog

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    1. Yeah.. We need little reminders to keep us grounded and stay true to ourselves :) Thanks for this comment Lucy! You helped me get thru this :) Thank you! x

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  8. That's why sometimes I just stay away from reading blogs for a few weeks. They're fun and interesting and inspiring sometimes but other times they can be frustrating and alienating. I think that a lot of bloggers share your feelings and I admire you writing it out on your blog! Just remember to shut down every once in a while. There are lots of "successful" bloggers that take breaks and return with great content. You're a person first and a blogger second! :)

    Yasmeen

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    1. Thanks for the reminder, Yasmeen! I think what you said is very true.. We are a person first.. then only a blogger. Thank you for the inspiration and help I needed to get thru that period of time <3

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  9. I agree with all the comments here and definitely what you have said. Even though I just started blogging again, I feel that I am striving too much for perfection and being a blogger rather than my own person. I understand how you feel. I guess all we need is to know not to get caught up in the fame, because as what you have mentioned, God has given us these talents not to show off, but to help others see Him and His love through our works. So thank you for letting me take time off to reflect upon myself, and to remind each other here that we should always do what we want to see, not what other people think we should be. And God should always be the first person we want to please, not the world :)

    Though I am sure you are staying true to yourself still, being able to reflect about all this x

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    1. Amen :) Thank you so much for this sweet reminder and motivating words! Jing Qi, you're really a great person. I hope you stay true to yourself and always remember to put God first too :) <3

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  10. SL, I don't think you're a people pleaser at all! You always leave genuine comments that are always thoughtful, kind and never for the sake of getting more followers or anything like that. The content on your blog is always so fresh and original, but most importantly showcases who you are as a person, which is why I always come back to visit your blog time and time again. I don't think there's anything wrong with reaching for perfection- it shows you are someone who strives for excellence in whatever you do. That in itself is a very important trait! I do know what you mean though, when you say you sit there for ages trying to force yourself to come up with something good to post. I find it happens to me a lot when I try to think of something to write about besides what my outfit is and where I wore it. It's a tough life being a blogger ;P but I guess it refines our writing/ creativity skills and gives us practice in working under pressure?? Anyway, don't stop blogging because I know that many people will agree with me when I say that would be a very sad day! <3 P.s I think you should post more of your artwork!!

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    1. Awwww Miss t! Why are you so lovely huh? :) I am sooo grateful to know you, Fiona! I really do hope we meet in real life one day. I think you'd be a great friend!! I'm not even joking! :))) Maybe one day when I visit Australia we can get together! :D Thank you so much for the lovely and kind words.. You impact my life in some way and I want to thank you for that.. I hope you are well yourself :) And yes! I will keep in mind on posting more of my art work! Thanks for encouraging me <3

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  11. I feel the same way too but I always knock myself off because my blog is what I really enjoy to do and probably most of the bloggers feel the same way too! I feel insecure sometimes because my post ain't interesting enough to most of the people out there and only those who understands would leave a comment on my blog. We blog because we wanted to share the things we love, the things that inspire us, and most importantly the things that make you stay true to yourself. Honestly, I think your blog is great and you don't need to be afraid that you will lose followers or anything because there are always loyal readers out there that will support you secretly :) Inspirations come from everywhere, perhaps watching old movies, listening to music or going outside would inspire you more. Just keep doing what you love and nothing can stop you from that.

    Cheers :)

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    1. Aw thank you LinWan! I am so thankful you even wrote all this. It really made my day! Thanks for being here for me when I was in need of help. I wish you the best for whatever situation you are encountering! Hope you find yourself and stay grounded :) You are so motivating! I feel like this post has helped me connect in a more deeper way with you girls. And I realize we all share so much in common.. Thanks for everything Linwan. We shall keep in touch! <3

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  12. Hello Sue Lyn :)
    WHOOPS I have been busy these past few days, so I couldn't read this post in time.
    But here I am, retracing back where I have left off :D
    I want to tell you that I am at awe at your photo editing skills and your unique ability to piece outfits together to make something even lovelier than just a simple blouse and skirt.
    You inspire me with your wonderful photographs and creativity.
    And I am really glad for you, I mean, 5 sponsors already! THAT'S CRAZY. Well for me, since ME getting 5 sponsors is unimaginable.
    Everytime I go on the computer, I check out my own blog, plurk, facebook and then I go to your blog. It's like a routine already!
    Please continue your blog and never stop blogging! There aren't anymore cool blogs to read anymore, so I'm depending on you for that :)
    CRAP. Did I just put pressure on you. :( sorry. I just wanted to rant about how awesome you are and give you encouragement.
    AH YES, and I SO do not mind you posting up long written posts. If you want to EXPRESS yourself then EXPRESS YOURSELF. Don't let what people think affect you. When there are lovers, there will probably be haters too. But what matters is that you have TONS of fans who read your blog and love your ideas (like mua). So, I hope you do end up reading this some time even though you posted this like on May 23rd. Crap. That WAS a long time ago :(
    XOXO. Megan (from your old school. If you remember me randomly popping up a convo with you.)

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  13. Hi there Sue Lyn..I just want to encourage you to keep doing what you love doing at your own comfortable pace. I understand how it is that sometimes we get carried away with statistics/achievements and what not..
    We just need to take some time once in a while to step back and remember the main purpose why we do things and as for you, you want to share your gifts and talents that God has blessed you with, your life lessons and inspire people and so much more.
    And btw, YOU INSPIRE ME. =) I really love your blog..how you manage everything around here and I love the Bible verses you added to your posts.
    Keep it going =) You never know who will be touched and inspired by your posts.

    God bless you, lovely Sue Lyn!

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  14. HI sue lyn! i recently stumbled upon your blog and you've inspired me by how sincere and honest you are through your writing, i feel that you're blog really represents who you are and the values you hold and i admire how you keep to blogging as being something you are passionate about compared to using it merely as a tool to gain popularity unlike a few ive seen, and being a blogger myself, i understand that it isnt easy to stay that grounded sometimes. i also want to say that the verses u put in every post are very encouraging and i love reading your writing, so never stop :)

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