This is the most naked post I've ever done. I just feel so strongly to let it out here. In my own personal space where I can just let out my inner thoughts and feelings. Apologies if you are already feeling bored. This might be the most boring post to some of you who read my blog. A post with no photos to look at; just a lot, a lot of text. Ok so here I go.. I don't know how many bloggers out there feel this, but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of them who feel this way, but never really let it out. But I think its time to write about it and just get it off my mind. So this is how I feel. As a blogger, I strive for 'perfection' in my posts. I am always trying to come up with creative ideas and photos that will 'please' the audiences eyes. I don't know who reads my blog but I do check my statistics and the numbers are growing by the day. People from around the globe and places I don't even know of, visits my blog. The thought of that is quite intimidating actually. Because I am very aware that there are quite a number of people who read my blog, I feel so obliged to make the statistics grow even more. Yes, I admit it. I am.. a people pleaser. Don't get me wrong please! Of course there are times when I just want to create creative posts because I felt inspired in one way or another. But sometimes.. even when I am tired and I have no inspiration (we are human, it happens!) I try to 'force' myself to crack something genius up. And people, that is very, very exhausting. I tend to forget that I am only human. I need my rest. My 'off days'. Sometimes I cry because it is all so overwhelming.. It feels like I'm in a race to finish first. And this race is never ending. And I'm competing with myself. How weird is that!
So yeah. I just thought I'd share something that has been in my mind for quite a long time now. I still don't know who is reading this and who might stumble upon it. But, it doesn't matter really. I don't want to get caught up with silly blog statistics. I didn't start this blog that way! I started blogging because I wanted to share things that gave me inspiration. And Twist Chic is a personal diary that has been opened to the world. I want to share my gifts and talents that God has blessed me with. I want to share my life lessons that I go through, hopefully I get to touch someone out there who is going through the same problem. I want to inspire people who needs inspiration. I want to create beautiful things when I feel inspired, going at my own pace. I want to live how God wants to see me live this life. I want to make my God famous. And His name is Jesus.
Taken from the song Albertine by Brooke Fraser, I am holding on to this verse:
Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead.
I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine.
I will tell them, Albertine.